By this time, I would definitely have accumulated about 15 to life. Guilty and then some, far past three strikes, wondering if I could plea insanity. If all those voices would quit chattering... 

Now before you slowly tiptoe backwards, searching your peripheral for an escape, please indulge my ever-growing desire to create awkward situations... even through written word. I'm merely on my way to making a valid point about the current status of my blogging abilities: non-existent in follow-through. Technically, I'm only consistent in NOT following through. Hence being a repeat offender... of not following through... in case you missed that. 

If I had a much wiser and more vocal clone of myself, she'd probably smack me upside the head regularly while mumbling about the shame of having the same genetic code as this loser (all fingers pointing in my direction). Now, now. Don't get too anxious about feeling sorry for me. Remember, talking about blogging. 

A regular blogging scenario goes something like this:

Ding! Lightbulb!... That's a really good idea... Good idea for a blog... I'm gonna blog about that... Because everybody wants to know about the fantastic blog ideas I come up with while sitting in my pajamas at 2pm... Gotta make sure I have some coffee and snacks... Coffee is a-brewin'... Ugh, all I have is almonds... Boo... Coffee is still a-brewin'... I wonder if I have any more lives on CandyCrush*... Mmmmmm, coffee is done... Cozy up on a lawn chair in the yard... Brainstorm... Check email... Brainstorm... TEXT MESSAGES!!!... Brainstorm... Feeling sleepy... Coffee is lame... Just a short nap... What was I doing before this self-induced grogginess?... Can't remember but I do know I have an episode of Gilmore Girls recorded... And that shiny thing in the corner definitely deserves my undivided attention. 

To amend ever-so slightly, this is merely a template to the various "distracting" cycles I go through. And I generally don't nap in my backyard with this translucent skin. However, as you can see, I am my own worst enemy when it comes to blogging. But since I am the poster child for "Never Give Up" and my business requires that I blog, this is, indeed, another attempt to add to the list of blogging attempts over the last ten years and I am determined to FOLLOW-THROUGH. 

Next step: actually post some photos. 

*Can be replaced with begrudgingly looking at 4,000 new baby photos on Facebook or watching YouTube videos pertaining primarily to conspiracy theories, the Illuminati, and why a certain president is the anti-Christ. True story.**

**I spy, with my little eye, an asterisk in my blog post. Interactive blogging. Boom.